I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
