apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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