We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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