He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
