I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
