so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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