i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Randomize
