just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
