pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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