woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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