It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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