In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't deserve a penis
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
