Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
