just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
