Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
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