I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
