Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
