U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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