why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
