Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
