Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
