If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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