Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize