My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
