well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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