My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
