you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
