his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
