What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
