Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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