dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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