I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
