I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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