My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
