I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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