Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
