so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
