8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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