What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Randomize
