Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
