bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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