Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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