Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
