Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize