Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
