Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
