That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
