Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I want to make a zoo with you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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