Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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