I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
