Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
