We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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