I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize