i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
