Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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