i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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