i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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