all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
