hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize