3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
