Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
